Authenticity Is Contagious

What Happens When You Stop Trying So Hard to Be Real?

When we show up as ourselves—open, joyful, unpolished—we invite others to do the same. Authenticity, like laughter, ripples outward.

Authenticity Is Contagious

What Happens When You Stop Trying So Hard to Be Real?

Sometimes, the most authentic moments come not when we're trying to be who we really are but when we finally stop trying to be something at all.

In a recent article on The Conversation, Assistant Professor of Psychology Matthew Baldwin introduced a powerful shift in how we think about authenticity.

Forget Finding Your True Self—Start Noticing What Feels Real

Rather than defining it as a fixed trait or a fully formed identity, Baldwin suggests authenticity is more immediate and accessible.

It's a feeling of fluency.

He describes fluency as that sense of ease or "rightness" when your actions align naturally with who you are, even if you can't fully articulate your "true self."

You don't have to figure everything out before you act authentically. In fact, it may be that you feel authentic first, and clarity about who you are follows later.

And I've seen this in real life.

When Vulnerability Becomes Leadership

A plant manager I once worked with had been placed on an 11-point performance improvement plan (PIP). He was struggling to do his job well, and everyone knew it.

No one expected what happened next.

Instead of retreating to his office or bristling at the feedback, the manager walked into his leadership team meeting and said, "I can't do this alone. I need your help."

No speech. No complaints or excuses. No tying it to strategy or plant-wide goals. Just realness, commitment, and an honest request for support.

And you could feel the shift.

The team didn't respond with judgment—they responded with respect and empathy. The room softened.

People leaned in. That moment of vulnerability reshaped everything.

His standing with the team—and the team's trust in each other—changed.

That's what fluency feels like. That's what authenticity conveys.

I've also seen it through joy.

Joy as a Marker of Authenticity

Amy Casciotti, VP of HR at TechSmith—and one of the most grounded leaders I know—recently posted a short video of herself and our colleague, Kaitlin Godair, attending a meeting with another team.

Their colleagues caught them on video mid-laughter. Full-bodied, rock-back-in-your-chair laughter.

No polish. No script. Just presence.

The post read: "This moment is a great reminder that we all need to find ways to laugh and bring joy into our lives. If we don't help lift each other up in HR, who else will?"

That's what authenticity looks like, too. Not because it's heavy or profound—but because it's unforced.

Laughter isn’t off-topic. It’s a signal of safety.

When leaders allow themselves to be human, they model a truth that reaches everyone around them: You are safe to be yourself here.

And sometimes, authenticity sounds like laughter drifting through a virtual room.

Presence Over Polish

I recently joined a Substack Live session hosted by two women—Canadian Kristi Keller of Wildhood Wanted and Jamaican Deanna Thomas of Simple Mindful Living for Wellbeing—who've spent years living in Jamaica.

I joined their Two Old Broads Living & Dying by Coconuts live session because I'd seen Kristi speak before in a more serious setting. She was calm, honest, deeply herself—and I was drawn to that presence.

Two women. One island. And the kind of presence that draws you in before a single word is spoken.

What followed was pure ease.

One in a sundress with tattoos, the other in a sweatshirt back in Canada. They spoke about life, freelancing, breadfruit trees, safety, whiteness, and Jamaica's rhythm, culture, and joy.

No performance. No polish. Just warmth, humor, and a kind of rooted realness you don't often see online.

And that ease? It was contagious.

You could feel the audience settle into it—relaxing, smiling, staying, sending hearts, showing up more fully. A few asked difficult questions—and received honest answers.

In that space, authenticity wasn't a goal. It was simply how things were.

Writers like these (Sarah Fay also comes to mind, in a different key) remind us that we often are our authentic selves when we stop trying so hard to be genuine.

What Might Shift for You?

Authenticity isn't always a declaration. It doesn't require a perfect understanding of who you are or present a manifesto about your values.

Sometimes, it's simply the moment when your presence in the world feels right.

You stop performing. You stop posturing. And for a breath, a meeting, or a laugh—you're just… you.

Whether leading a team, working alone, or finding your voice again after loss or change, those are the moments to trust. Moments of fluency.

Moments when you feel aligned with yourself. When your actions and presence feel like they belong to you, they are you.

And perhaps most powerfully, those moments of authenticity have a ripple effect.

When you show up with honesty, vulnerability, joy, and ease, you give others your permission to do the same.

Authenticity isn’t just personal—it’s a ripple. It’s contagious.

So, you're invited to think about authenticity differently:

What might shift in your work—or your life—if you stopped striving for authenticity and instead noticed the moments when you already feel at home within yourself?

Further Reading and Inspiration

If you'd like to explore the people and ideas that inspired this week's edition, here are a few thoughtful sources:

• "What the New Science of Authenticity Says About Discovering Your True Self" – by Matthew Baldwin, The Conversation

  A beautifully written explanation of how authenticity may be less about identity and more about feeling aligned with yourself.

• Finding Joy in HR: The Power of Laughter – by Amy Casciotti, TechSmith

  Amy shares a short video of laughter in the workplace that reminds us that joy is just as real—and as powerful—as vulnerability.

• Two Old Broads Living & Dying by Coconuts – by Kristi Keller and Deanna Thomas

  You’ll get countless life lessons learned by living with less on the outside but feeling so much more on the inside. Two women and Jamaica.

• Wildhood Wanted – by Kristi Keller

  A free-spirited, grounded voice on reconnecting with what matters—blending curiosity, honesty, and courage through her Jamaican and Canadian lens.

• Simple Mindful Living for Wellbeing – by Deanna Thomas

  Thoughtful reflections on mindfulness, balance, and the human experience. Deanna's presence in conversation reflects the very fluency this article explores.

• Substack Writers at Work – by Sarah Fay

  If you're building a writing life on Substack, I’ve found this to be the most practical, generous resource out there. Her Notes Boost Challenge, included for paid subscribers, helped me clarify my voice, connect with thoughtful peers, and stay consistent. It’s a smart investment for writers.

Earlier Pieces on Authenticity

• Mastering Authenticity: Let Your True Self Shine Through

  Authenticity is an ongoing journey that requires regular reflection. Assessing whether your actions and words align with your core values ensures that you remain true to yourself.

• The Authenticity Challenge

  Embracing your authentic self might be challenging, but it's the path to genuine fulfillment and connection.

• Barriers to Becoming Your Authentic Self

  Here are five key reasons we often need to hide our authentic selves, at least some of the time. Other reasons exist, but this article highlights areas we can address.