Empathy in Action: What Strong Leadership Really Looks Like
Why empathy isn’t soft—it’s the leadership strength people remember most.
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Empathy in Action: What Strong Leadership Really Looks Like
Kaitlin Godair, Human Resources Manager at TechSmith Corporation, was in abject despair.
She had made what she describes as a "colossal mistake." A payroll processing error affected tax calculations across the company, requiring over 300 paychecks to be voided and manually re-entered during the closing days of the financial quarter.
Alone in her office, overwhelmed by the scale of the problem, the pressure of the deadline, and the need to handle hundreds of staff queries, Kaitlin broke down in tears.
She sat in despair, dreading the conversations that would follow and bracing for anger, frustration, or judgment.
When VP of HR Amy Casciotti walked in, Kaitlin looked up through tear-filled eyes, expecting to see disappointment, maybe even anger or condemnation, on her leader's face.
What she saw instead was something else entirely—pure empathy.
Amy didn't criticize or demand an explanation. She didn't point out the impact of the error. She didn't make a speech about values.
She asked, "Do you want me to communicate the situation to staff?"
It wasn't just a kind offer. Amy followed through, taking on the most challenging part: owning the mistake in front of the team and fielding their questions so Kaitlin could focus on correcting the error.
Years later, Kaitlin still trembles when she thinks about that moment—not because of the mistake but because of the grace she received.
With Kaitlin's blessing, I've shared her story and VP Amy's quiet act of leadership that made all the difference.
It's a story about empathy—but more than that, it's about what empathy looks like in practice when the stakes are high, and emotions are raw.
Because moments like this don't just happen at TechSmith.
They happen in every workplace, where someone messes up, and someone else has to decide what kind of leader they'll be at that moment.
They happen at home when a child is afraid to admit a mistake.
They happen in teams, families, friendships, and communities.
What Makes Empathy So Powerful?
Empathy isn't a weakness. It's not soft talk or vague kindness. Empathy isn't about rescuing people or losing your objectivity. It's about choosing to stay present when someone else is struggling.
You stay—even when it's uncomfortable, even when you can't fix it, even when their experience doesn't match your own.
Because being seen and heard often changes everything for people.
When people talk about leadership, they often picture strength: decisiveness, confidence, and charisma.
But empathy is the quiet leadership skill that holds everything else together.
Real strength starts with empathy. It earns trust, builds connections, and sustains teams during challenging moments.
Leaders must start with empathy for their employees' lives and situations for any other input to matter.
Empathy is strong. It takes strength to pause and care, even when the moment is messy or inconvenient.
It's how the best leaders:
Earn trust and loyalty that lasts
Hear what the person isn't saying to see and assess situations clearly
Lead through conflict with a clear vision and care
Make decisions that others will stand behind
Empathy isn't one-size-fits-all. It looks different depending on your personality, role, and the people you lead.
But what never changes is this: empathy makes us safe to be human around each other.
You don't need a title to offer empathy.
But everything changes when someone with power chooses it.
This choice is how you build culture: not through posters or handbooks, but in everyday moments when people choose compassion over control.
What Empathy Looks Like in Practice
Too often, people misunderstand empathy. Practicing empathy looks like this:
Asking, "How can I support you right now?" instead of "Why did this happen?"
Choosing to listen first, even when frustrated or the situation feels chaotic.
Offering reassurance, not reprimand, when someone already feels vulnerable.
Noticing what's unspoken: the fear behind the silence, the shame under the surface.
Saying, "Let's figure this out together," instead of "This better not happen again."
Empathy in leadership isn't about letting mistakes or oversights slide. It's about showing people they don't have to hide when, as humans, they make errors.
That's when accountability becomes possible.
That's when you build trust, not just during easy circumstances but in the moments people remember for the rest of their lives.
The Power of Kaitlin's Story
What made that moment powerful? Most people think of leadership as strength: calm under pressure, decisive action, and steady hands.
But real strength, which earns trust, often looks like empathy.
It's stepping into someone else's moment of distress and saying, "You're not alone in this."
Empathy in action is often unspoken.
Amy didn't give a speech about values—she lived them.
The best leaders know empathy doesn't mean rescuing or fixing.
It means staying present, removing shame, and helping people restore dignity.
Why empathy is a leadership advantage
It earns trust that endures.
It diffuses defensiveness and speeds up problem-solving.
It makes people feel safe enough to bring their best, even after mistakes.
Empathy doesn't mean avoiding accountability
Amy didn't ignore the mistake. She just addressed it with humanity.
Empathy and accountability aren't opposites—they work best together when done right.
Empathy reinforces core values.
In the example, Amy shielded her manager from having tough conversations, allowing Kaitlin to focus on fixing the error.
She reinforced the kind of workplace they were building—one grounded in grace, kindness, and steady support under pressure.
Closing Thought
What stays with us isn't the noise—it's the moment someone showed up with quiet understanding. Often, it's the smallest gestures that people remember most.
We remember our mistakes, yes—but we remember the kindness we were shown even more.
Empathy leaves a lasting impression.
That's what people carry with them, long after the moment has passed.
That's the culture people want to be part of and help build.
Call to Reflection or Action
Don't wait for someone to fall apart to show empathy this week.
Check in. Listen a little longer. Remember what matters to them.
It doesn't have to be big to make a difference.
Small, steady actions shape the culture around you at work, home, and beyond.
What Empathy Looks Like in Your Role
Empathy isn't vague. It's actionable, and here's how you can demonstrate empathy as a person in a role that people turn to the most.
For Managers
When an employee misses a deadline: Let's talk about what happened. Are you okay? Was there something that made this task especially difficult? Shifts from blame to support while still addressing the issue.
When a high performer disengages: I've noticed you seem distant lately. That's not like you. I wanted to see how you are doing.
—Signals that the manager has seen and valued them.
For HR Professionals
When an employee expresses burnout: Thank you for sharing this. Let's talk about what feels unsustainable and what we can adjust to improve your situation.
—Normalizes the conversation and initiates collaborative solutions.
When advising a leader on an employment termination: How can we make this conversation honest but as respectful and humane as possible?
—Models values-driven leadership, even in difficult moments.
For Coaches and Counselors
When a client feels ashamed after a failure: You don't have to be perfect to be valuable. What did this teach you, and what's your plan for your next step?
—Centers the client on growth without minimizing pain.
When a client is stuck in conflict: Let's see what the other person might have going on. Finding out is not to excuse the behavior but to understand it so you can decide how to respond.
—Uses empathy as a pathway to obtain clarity and make choices.
Want to connect with the people behind the story? Find Kaitlin Godair and Amy Casciotti on LinkedIn.
More on empathy from earlier editions of ValuesCrafting:
You may find helpful thoughts here if you're guiding others or just trying to be more empathetic in your own life.
How to Practice Empathy: Everyday ways to show up with care, even when emotions run high. Practical examples for managers, caregivers, and everyday relationships.
The Unexpected Gift of Empathy: Receiving empathy isn’t easy when you’re used to being the strong one. I've learned something life-changing: letting others care for you is not a weakness.
Tips for Empathetically Dealing with Burnout: Burnout is rising, and empathy is the antidote. When employers lead with empathy and individuals practice self-care, workplace culture and personal well-being strengthen.
Empathy at work was a skill I had to learn by being gently schooled by a coworker. Everything here rings loudly true! Thank you!
Wonderful article, Susan. Early on in my career, I worked for the least empathetic person I had met. His actions, toward me and others on our team impacted how I chose to work and later manage others. Empathy as a leadership skill shoul be discussed more often. Thank you for highlighting it.