Revisiting one of ValuesCrafting's most-read articles with new personal and professional stories that show the real costs and rewards of living your truth.
This is an honest look at a very complicated topic. It's something I struggle with - not generally, but in terms of showing my true self/ideas when it might affect my business (politics in particular). Still struggling with this. Thinking. Pondering. It's hard because otherwise I'm an open book, heart on my sleeve.
Miriam, I appreciate your honesty. You’re right, when business or politics enter the picture, the cost of authenticity can feel especially steep. Many of us wrestle with that tension between openness and self-protection. Your willingness to keep thinking and reflecting, even in the struggle, is a kind of authenticity in itself. Thank you for sharing this. Many of us share your dilemma. I certainly did as a consultant who needed to be liked to be hired to help.
Susan - Thank you! Your fork in the road is familiar: pretend, stay silent, or speak and live with the consequences. I appreciate how you frame authenticity not as winning an argument but as refusing to betray what you know to be true.
In my work, I see authenticity as a practice with two parts: discernment and delivery. First, discernment, asking, Is this a safe enough moment, and what am I actually standing for? Then delivery, How can I say this with care and without trying to convert the other person to my view or convince them they’re wrong? Sometimes the most authentic act is choosing not to enter the debate; other times it’s saying the thing plainly and accepting the price. Either way, as you indicate self-betrayal is the costliest option.
Your question at the end is spot on: is the price of living your truth higher or lower than the price of hiding it? Lately I’m trying to measure that by how I feel afterward, am I steadier, even if lonelier for a bit, if so it tends to mean I chose well.
Bronce, thank you for putting this so beautifully. I especially appreciate your framing of authenticity as both discernment and delivery. That resonates with me because, like you, I’ve found that the aftermath, how steady or unsettled I feel, is the clearest measure of whether I’ve chosen well. If my gut feels good, I have supported my most important values, even if it was scary. You’ve added richness to the conversation, and I know people benefit from your perspective.
This is an honest look at a very complicated topic. It's something I struggle with - not generally, but in terms of showing my true self/ideas when it might affect my business (politics in particular). Still struggling with this. Thinking. Pondering. It's hard because otherwise I'm an open book, heart on my sleeve.
Miriam, I appreciate your honesty. You’re right, when business or politics enter the picture, the cost of authenticity can feel especially steep. Many of us wrestle with that tension between openness and self-protection. Your willingness to keep thinking and reflecting, even in the struggle, is a kind of authenticity in itself. Thank you for sharing this. Many of us share your dilemma. I certainly did as a consultant who needed to be liked to be hired to help.
Susan - Thank you! Your fork in the road is familiar: pretend, stay silent, or speak and live with the consequences. I appreciate how you frame authenticity not as winning an argument but as refusing to betray what you know to be true.
In my work, I see authenticity as a practice with two parts: discernment and delivery. First, discernment, asking, Is this a safe enough moment, and what am I actually standing for? Then delivery, How can I say this with care and without trying to convert the other person to my view or convince them they’re wrong? Sometimes the most authentic act is choosing not to enter the debate; other times it’s saying the thing plainly and accepting the price. Either way, as you indicate self-betrayal is the costliest option.
Your question at the end is spot on: is the price of living your truth higher or lower than the price of hiding it? Lately I’m trying to measure that by how I feel afterward, am I steadier, even if lonelier for a bit, if so it tends to mean I chose well.
Bronce, thank you for putting this so beautifully. I especially appreciate your framing of authenticity as both discernment and delivery. That resonates with me because, like you, I’ve found that the aftermath, how steady or unsettled I feel, is the clearest measure of whether I’ve chosen well. If my gut feels good, I have supported my most important values, even if it was scary. You’ve added richness to the conversation, and I know people benefit from your perspective.