When You Value Yourself, The World Responds Differently
Why Inner Shifts Ripple Outward—and How To Keep Practicing, Not Perfecting
Photo by Brooke Cagle.
She didn’t ask for space. She took her place—with grace.
When You Value Yourself, The World Responds Differently
Why Inner Shifts Ripple Outward—and How To Keep Practicing, Not Perfecting
You don't have to shout your worth for people to see you.
However, you do need to act as if you deserve the space you take up in this world.
Only then do others recognize your value—and respond to the presence you bring into the room.
What I Learned Early On
Early in my consulting career, I noticed how many of my male clients entered a room in a way that made people turn their heads.
Their presence said, I belong here, loudly and clearly. Their assuredness paved the way to the conference table.
Once seated, they staked out space—with a notebook or laptop, with posture and tone—and the message was clear: I matter here.
I watched. And I learned.
I learned how to fill a space with presence. How to let the aura of my experience and quiet confidence go before me.
And I saw the results: I was heard, believed, and trusted.
My ideas carried weight, not because I forced them to, but because I showed up in alignment with my worth.
When You Don't Claim Your Presence
Years later, a female client asked why I brought "so much power" into the room.
I asked her gently, "Would you have believed me otherwise—when I suggested reorganizing your entire department to promote employee involvement and engagement?"
She paused. She hadn't thought of that.
But how I showed up—how I carried myself—had helped her trust what I had to say.
I've worked with many clients, men and women, who struggled to make their voices heard.
The problem wasn't their ideas. It was the energy they brought into the room.
They didn't claim space. They didn't radiate belief in themselves. And it changed how people responded.
The One Who Seemed to Own the Room
In one memorable case, a department head at a university struggled to interact with and direct a staff member who reported to her.
The department head invited me to sit in on a meeting. The contrast between them was immediately apparent.
The department head, dressed in a proper gray business suit, arrived early and quietly placed her notebook directly in front of her, the edges squared with the table.
Her presence was restrained, almost apologetic.
Her direct report arrived late, disheveled and flustered, wearing a floral dress with plenty of jewelry.
Without hesitation, she spread her belongings—purse, briefcase, notebook—across half the table. She owned the space.
When I debriefed with the department head afterward, I reminded her that she still held the real power in the room: hierarchical authority, organizational knowledge, and the backing of her senior managers.
I encouraged her to find ways to use those strengths to support, rather than squash, her staff person's different style.
But she wasn't interested. She needed me to determine that the staff person's style was "wrong."
She decided I was "on the side" of the report.
In truth, I was on the side of making space for differences, of helping the department thrive by integrating diverse styles and talents rather than excluding them.
Not long after, the direct report moved on—and the university lost a breath of fresh air.
How Inner Work Shapes Outer Reality
Yes, much of this work is internal. But those shifts—your posture, eye contact, tone, and groundedness—don't stay hidden. They reshape how others interact with you.
That's alignment.
You may have heard "fake it 'til you make it." I prefer:
Let your presence lead while your belief system catches up.
And then, with care and reflection, you can catch up from within.
Building That Inner Foundation
These are four strengthening, steady ways to practice valuing yourself:
Visualize Who You Are Becoming
Imagine yourself in clear, supportive terms that describe your strengths, even if their development is in process:
I am capable.
I am worthy of love and commitment.
I think through problems and find solutions.
I bring both wisdom and practicality to my work and life.
I am competent to understand and assist you in solving your problems.
Strengthen Your Inner Voice
Let your self-talk affirm your value and impact. Speak to yourself as if you were someone you love, trust, and respect.
Your self-talk is the most significant supporter you have. Use your self-talk as if your most faithful friend were you.
Confront Internal Saboteurs
Negative beliefs will try to interfere. Consciously quiet the inner critic who rarely has your best interest at heart.
If your critic says, "You will fail at this task," gently respond, "I see myself performing the task with remarkable competence."
If your critic says, "You're not capable of reaching your goal,” you respond, "I will achieve my goal because I am capable and driven to achieve my dreams."
Rehearse Positive Outcomes
Picture how tomorrow's meeting or conversation might unfold. Think through potential scenarios and rehearse grounded, thoughtful responses in advance.
This mental rehearsal isn't about scripting—it's about showing up to create a positive outcome.
What Begins to Shift
When you begin to value yourself, not for demonstrating your worth to others, but as your internal knowledge and confidence grow, everything changes.
You notice what you allow.
What you excuse.
What you no longer tolerate.
And when your vision of yourself changes, even without demanding anything different from your family, friends, and colleagues, you will find that the people around you begin to shift, too.
It's not magic. It's self-respect in motion.
Let's Turn to the Next Page Together
Valuing yourself is not about perfection. It's about character and your positive vision of yourself.
This article isn't training or a how-to. It's encouragement.
If you're reading this, you're already doing something right.
You're thinking, reflecting, and paying attention.
Maybe change feels slow. Perhaps no one else has noticed yet.
That doesn't mean it isn't happening.
Because how you treat yourself—what you allow, what you honor, what you let go—shapes how others treat you, too.
It always has. It always will.
And if you don't like the tone of that story, you can turn the page.
How you treat yourself sets the tone for everything else—and everyone else. And it's not too late to rewrite the tone.
Bringing It Home
You may not be stepping into a boardroom or leading a department, but you are leading your own life every day.
The way you carry yourself—in conversations, in decisions, even in your quiet moments—sends a message to everyone around you about what you will accept and what you will honor.
When you value yourself, you give others permission to do the same.
Reflection and Resources
Time Speeds Up As We Age (Here’s How To Slow It Down)
This summary from one of my favorite publications, Super Age, offers a rare combination: energy, science, and grounded daily practices that reinforce the core values we explore here—presence, connection, resilience, contribution, and intentional living.
You’ll find:
Specific daily habits that promote not just a longer life, but a better one.
Insightful mindset shifts about motivation, social fitness, and creative adaptation.
Actionable tips from trusted experts—whether you’re walking barefoot in the grass or training for your 80s.
And a powerful reminder that joy and autonomy are worth planning for.
It’s a rich resource if you’re ready to build a life that’s healthy, connected, and aligned with what matters most. You’ll want to subscribe to “The Mindset” by Super Age.
You being here means the world to me. Thank you for reading ValuesCrafting.
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