The Sentence That Changed Everything I Knew About Feedback

Why the Toughest Feedback Often Holds the Biggest Lessons

I was a training coordinator and OD consultant at a GM plant with around 6,000 employees. My phone rang constantly—training requests, facilitation needs, problem-solving calls. I was the go-to person for getting things done.

Having just transitioned from the world of education to a massive industrial plant, I believed professionalism meant sounding official, competent, and in control.

So, when I answered the phone, my tone reflected that:

"This is Susan Heathfield. How can I help you?"

One day, the voice on the other end of the line paused. Then, with a mix of amusement and exasperation, he said:

"What? No 'good day'? No, 'hi, how are you'? No chit-chat to break up a long day?"

For a split second, my instinct was to get defensive. What did it matter how I answered the phone? I was getting my job done. I was efficient and successful.

But something stopped me. A hundred competing thoughts filled my brain.

Instead of brushing off the comment or justifying my approach, I laughed. And then, I listened.

The caller wasn't criticizing me—he was giving me a gift. He showed me something I hadn't been able to see.

People don't just want efficiency. They want warmth. They want to feel like they matter. And my approach, while professional, was missing that entirely.

From that day forward, I changed. I started answering the phone with warmth, greeting people before jumping into business.

And the result?

People opened up more. They trusted me more. And I realized something even more significant:

Feedback, when received openly, has the power to completely shift how we connect and lead.

Why Most of Us Struggle with Feedback

It's easy to hear feedback as criticism—a challenge to our competence. But when we do that, we miss the gold hidden inside.

That day, I learned how to receive feedback without defensiveness:

• Pause before reacting. My instinct was to push back, but by pausing, I made space to hear what my caller was really saying.

• Assume positive intent. Not all feedback is an attack. Sometimes, it's an unexpected insight that makes us better. If I had followed my instant gut reaction, I would have alienated the person who gave me this gift—and trust me, he wouldn't have offered another.

• Be willing to see what you're missing. I thought I was doing everything right, but my caller's perspective revealed a blind spot I hadn't noticed.

A Challenge for You

The next time you receive feedback—especially the kind that makes you bristle—Pause.

• Take a breath before responding.

• Ask yourself: What if this person is showing me something valuable?

• Try saying, "Tell me more—I want to understand."

• Ask a follow-up question to make sure you truly grasp what's being shared.

You don't always have to agree with feedback. But in gratitude for the insights, you need to hear it clearly.

Because the feedback that stings the most is often the feedback that helps us grow the most.

Let’s make this real: What’s the best (or most challenging) feedback you’ve ever received? Even if it was tough to hear, what lesson stuck with you? Your story might help someone else grow. Reply and share your story—I’d love to hear it

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