The Pause That Moves You Forward

8 Times the Power of Pausing Supports Your Values-Based Life

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We live in a fast-paced world that values quick decisions and instant responses. But sometimes, your best move isn’t to act right away. It’s to take a pause. This week, I’m sharing how the power of pausing can help you act purposefully.

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Warmly,  Susan

The Pause That Moves You Forward

8 Times the Power of the Pause Supports Your Values-Based Life

We live in a world that values speed: fast decisions, quick responses, and immediate action. Email is treated like instant messaging—click, send, regret.

But sometimes, the smartest move isn't to hit send. It's to pause.

Pausing isn't choosing inaction. It's creating a quiet space to reflect, reevaluate, and ensure your response aligns with your values.

I learned this lesson the hard way during a challenging engagement with a client whose actions were unintentionally undermining my work.

My Frustration Took Over

I was working with a manufacturing manager client I liked. He was competent, personable, and dedicated, and he genuinely wanted to see his company succeed by changing direction. But there was one problem.

In meetings with his team, he made comments that undermined the credibility of the training and development work I was leading for the company.

In management team meetings, he assured me that he fully supported the changes we were implementing.

However, when it came to following through on his commitments, such as providing resources or clarifying priorities, he redirected the solutions and decisions to his team leaders.

His team was still determining whether he backed the changes, and their hesitation slowed progress. They appeared to be waiting for his permission.

After one particularly challenging meeting, I felt a growing frustration. My client's comments contradicted our agreed-upon goals and undermined the progress we'd worked so hard to achieve.

Back at my desk, I poured my frustration into a long email, listing every instance where I felt he had undermined my efforts.

At that moment, I seriously considered walking away from the company altogether.

My Pause Saved the Day

But I didn't hit send. Instead, I paused.

I've sent more than one email and regretted it, but I managed to stop myself this time. I realized that you can't take it back once it's sent.

An email written in frustration would not only escalate the problem, but it could undo all the trust we'd built.

I stepped away for a few hours to cool off. When I came back, I decided I'd have an honest, face-to-face conversation instead of sending the email.

Our Conversation Changed Everything

I walked to the manager's office and asked, "Can we talk?"

I explained, calmly and without exaggeration, how I perceived his behavior and its impact on his team and our efforts.

I shared how his comments in meetings and inconsistent follow-through sent mixed messages to his team, making it harder to drive the changes we both wanted.

He was genuinely surprised.

He thought his comments empowered his team by showing confidence in their abilities.

He didn't realize that his managers saw it differently—they thought he was skeptical, indifferent, or even withdrawing his support.

That conversation cleared the air. By pausing before reacting, I preserved our working relationship and allowed us to realign our goals and steps. The manager learned how his team had misinterpreted his actions.

That pause gave me the clarity to address the situation constructively. It allowed me to respond thoughtfully rather than impulsively and made all the difference.

From that point forward, he made a real effort to show his team that he fully supported the changes, which made a noticeable difference in our progress.

Everyday Opportunities to Pause

Pausing doesn't just apply to big moments like this. It's a tool you can use every day:

• Pause Before Sending or Speaking in Frustration:

  Before sending an email or saying something in anger you can't take back, pause to collect your thoughts.

• Pause to Reflect on Achievements and Celebrate Small Wins:

  Recognize your progress in a single workday or on the way to bigger goals.

• Pause Before Jumping to Conclusions:

  Slow down before assuming someone's intent, especially in a meeting or workplace situation.

• Pause to Challenge Your Inner Critic:

  When your inner critic takes over with worst-case scenarios, stop and question its narrative.

• Pause Before Reacting to Criticism:

  Separate the feedback from your emotions. Find the value in the critique before responding.

• Pause to Check Your Priorities:

  When you feel overwhelmed, pause to reassess and focus on what matters most.

• Pause Before Making a Big Decision

  Take a moment to consider whether your choice aligns with your values and long-term goals.

• Pause to Listen Fully in Conversations

  Sometimes, the most meaningful thing you can do is stop and truly listen. Hold back on offering advice or sharing your perspective until the other person feels fully heard.

Pausing in these moments allows you to act authentically. You can stay in touch with your purpose for acting and desired outcomes.

A pause can build trust, strengthen relationships, and keep your energy moving in the preferred direction.

Using Thoughtful Pauses

Taking a pause doesn't slow you down—it moves you forward with clarity and purpose. It can make all the difference.

As the year winds down, think about a time when pausing changed your outcome for the better.

I’d love to hear your story—it might inspire someone else to discover the power of a thoughtful pause.

Expand Your ValuesCrafting Toolkit

Discover curated resources that deepen your understanding of thoughtful pauses before acting and other everyday topics.

“The Pause Principle: When/Why to Go Fast and When/Why to Go Slow.” --When do we get our best ideas? It turns out many people get theirs in the shower. Kevin Cashman tells us how to decide when and why to go fast and when and why to go slow. Take a look at his pause model in an engaging 11-minute YouTube video.

In a second video by Cashman, see the impact of Vince Lombardi’s love for his players. (I loved this one.)

“Worker well-being is in demand as organizational culture shifts.” —According to Gallup, the pandemic significantly disrupted the workplace, with stress among workers reaching record highs globally. Psychologists emphasize the growing recognition of how workplace conditions affect mental health, urging organizations to prioritize well-being by fostering supportive environments, flexible policies, and open communication. Find this at APA.org.

“How to Develop and Practice Self-Regulation.” —Self-regulation is the ability to manage emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in alignment with long-term goals and deeply held values. It plays a crucial role in resilience, emotional intelligence, and overall well-being, enabling individuals to navigate stress, maintain relationships, and achieve personal success. Find this at VeryWell Health.

“Happiness Break: Pause to Look at the Sky, With Dacher” —In this Happiness Break, Dacher Keltner guides a mindfulness practice called "Look to the Sky," Studies show that experiencing vastness, like gazing at the sky, promotes calm, kindness, and a shift away from material concerns toward a more connected and purposeful mindset.