The Magic of Feeling Seen
The Quiet Shift That Changes How People Show Up at Work and in Life
A Quick Note Before We Begin
Before we step into today’s topic—the kind of “quiet magic” that happens when people feel truly seen and valued—I want to share some foundational information.
Many of you are new to ValuesCrafting. Others have been reading only since late summer. And most haven’t seen the framework that underlies every story, every example, and every piece of guidance I offer here.
So today, I’m bringing it forward again.
More than thirty years ago, I wrote a set of guiding beliefs and principles about people, culture, and leadership. I’ve updated the wording here and there as the world has changed, but the heart of them has never shifted.
These principles have held constant through:
consulting with more than 100 clients
building TechSmith’s values-based culture
writing online for over 25 years
profound personal loss, and
every reinvention that followed.
They remain the clearest expression of how I see people, and why I believe that trust, respect, and high expectations change everything.
If you’ve ever wondered where my approach comes from or why my writing sounds different from other leadership voices, this is the reason.
Because ValuesCrafting isn’t about managing people—it’s about honoring them. I start from trust, not control, and teach leadership grounded in humanity, not hierarchy.
And now, with that foundation in place, let’s talk about what happens when people feel seen, valued, and trusted, because that’s where today’s message begins.
The Magic of Feeling Seen
The Quiet Shift That Changes How People Show Up at Work and in Life
What Happens When People Don’t Feel Seen
Years ago, I worked with a manufacturing company just outside Milwaukee. The HR manager there had a reputation that preceded her. People called her “the dragon.” Managers saw her as all business, all rules, all the time.
What most of them never knew was why she seemed that way.
This woman handled benefits, payroll, compliance, and every employee emergency thrown her way. Her days were spent keeping the company out of legal hot water—largely because senior leadership viewed employees strictly through the lens of risk, rules, and liability.
There was no partnership.
No curiosity.
No belief that people mattered beyond the minimum required by law.
One manager famously asked me, with genuine confusion:
“Why would you want to ask the workers how to improve things? They’re just factory rats.”
Those “rats,” as he called them, turned out to be thoughtful, intelligent adults who knew exactly what was happening inside their plant.
Once they trusted me, they told me what people were stealing, why it was happening, and how supplies and parts walked out the door without anyone noticing.
They weren’t proud of it.
They were resigned.
Because when a workplace treats people as if they can’t be trusted, people eventually stop giving their best. Some disengage. Some break rules. Some shut down.
And the HR manager?
As we built trust over time, she finally admitted something heartbreaking.
She had arrived at that company years earlier with an open heart—excited about employee involvement, training, development, partnership, and culture-building. She wanted to create a place where people were valued, not just managed.
But every attempt she made had been blocked.
Every idea was dismissed.
Every effort was unsupported.
Eventually, she gave up trying.
She retreated into the only role leadership would allow her: rule enforcer, compliance expert, company shield.
She wasn’t “the dragon.” She was a warm, witty, likeable human being, with a full life and grandchildren outside of work.
But, at work? She was a person who had stopped feeling seen—the same experience their employees lived every day.
What Happens When People Do Feel Seen
Contrast that with what I watched happen in workplaces where people were treated differently. Places where:
Leaders began with trust, not suspicion.
Employees were asked what they thought rather than told what to do.
People were recognized as the thinking, capable adults they are.
Everything changed.
Productivity rose not because people were pushed, but because they were valued.
Ideas flourished because people felt safe enough to share them.
Conflicts eased because people felt respected rather than defensive.
Engagement deepened because people felt like they mattered. They were valued for more than their output.
When people feel seen:
They offer more.
They risk more.
They care more.
And trust grows naturally and steadily, often found in the smallest moments.
A manager asks, “What do you think?”
A leader acknowledges a person’s effort in front of their peers.
A colleague says, “I trust your judgment. Run with it.”
None of these is a grand gesture.
But together, they transform relationships and culture.
The truth is simple:
People rise when they feel valued.
They shrink when they feel invisible.
That’s the core message today.
Why Feeling Seen Changes Everything
Here’s what I know after a lifetime of doing this work:
Cultures don’t transform because of big programs or strategic initiatives.
They transform because one person chooses to see another person as a valuable human, clearly, generously, and without judgment.
That moment of recognition is where trust begins.
It’s where connection deepens.
It’s where people remember who they are and what they’re capable of.
And it’s available to all of us, every day.
A Reflection for You
Think back to a moment when you felt truly seen, not for your role, your output, or your responsibilities, but for your humanity.
What changed for you in that moment?
What became possible that wasn’t possible before?
Answer a second question:
Who in your life, at work or at home, needs that gift from you this week?
A Closing Thought
If you want a healthier culture, stronger relationships, a cohesive, loving family, or deeper trust,
start where transformation always begins:
See the person in front of you.
Really see them.
The rest will grow from this.
With gratitude for how you live your values,
— Susan
Until next week—keep doing what matters most.
Just a reminder that I share short reflections on values, life, and Percy several times a week in Substack Notes—along with posts from other writers whose work I admire. It’s a more spontaneous space, and I’d love to see you there. Check out Notes for all the latest.
Your presence here means more than I can say. Thank you for being part of ValuesCrafting. Every time you read, reflect, and act on these ideas, you’re helping create a world where values guide actions—and that’s something worth sharing.