The Changes You Make Without Willpower

Why some of your most lasting changes don’t come from pushing harder, but from seeing clearly what no longer fits in your life.

Photo by Zachary Ferguson on Unsplash

The Changes You Make Without Willpower

A Note About August in ValuesCrafting

Each August, we’ll revisit the four most‑read articles of the past year.

I’ll re‑introduce each one with fresh insights—drawn from what I’ve learned, lived, and noticed since it was first published.

For new readers, this is your chance to discover some of the most valuable and resonant pieces in the ValuesCrafting archive.

For longtime readers, it’s an opportunity to see familiar ideas in a new light and reflect on how they meet you now.

We’ll start this week with 8 Ways to Build Self‑Discipline, updated with a personal story about change that didn’t require discipline at all—just a deep sense of alignment.

Self‑Discipline Updated

My eight steps to build self‑discipline ring as true today as they did the day I wrote them.

If you follow them, you’ll develop the strength to follow through on a specific goal, event, or desire—and, if you choose, to build a more self‑disciplined life overall.

I cannot overstate the value of self‑discipline if you want to achieve your goals and dreams.

But here’s what I’ve learned: not every change needs discipline.

Sometimes clarity does the work for you.

That realization first showed up decades ago when I quit smoking. At 34, I thought giving up cigarettes would take monumental willpower.

Instead, the change came the moment I saw smoking no longer belonged in my life.

I hated the smell in my clothes, my hair, my home. Lighting up was as automatic as combing my hair—until one day, it wasn’t.

When I could no longer see smoking as adding value to my life, I stopped. I haven’t had a cigarette in 44 years.

Recently, the same thing happened with my nightly ritual of wine at 7.

I didn’t quit drinking wine because I had to. I stopped because, one evening, I simply knew: this no longer fits who I’m becoming.

No drama. No last glass. No tally of days. Just a steady moment of recognition that I wanted clearer mornings, sounder sleep, and evenings on my terms.

It wasn’t a health scare or a 30‑day challenge—it was alignment. And once I made the decision, it stuck. No white‑knuckling. No bargaining. No “just one.”

That’s why I’m bringing back 8 Ways to Build Self‑Discipline this week.

Because while discipline is essential, it’s not the only path to meaningful change.

Sometimes, the most straightforward path is to choose what aligns with who you are now—and let that choice carry you forward.

8 Ways to Build Self-Discipline

Unlock Your Potential

“Sometimes, you have to step outside of the person you've been and remember the person you were meant to be. The person you want to be. The person you are.” —H. G. Wells

Do you ever wish you had more willpower? You may want to conquer that morning workout or finally learn a skill you've been putting off. You may want to make healthy eating a lifestyle choice or start a business that frees you from the constraints of an employer's clock.

Practicing self-discipline can help you create a life where you accomplish these goals and dreams. Discipline is critical for success in your career and life. These eight practical tips will guide you in building the self-discipline you need to unlock your full potential.

1. Identify What You Want to Do Differently

Building self-discipline isn't about forcing yourself to do things you hate. It's about making positive changes that stick.

If you want to focus on your health, choose healthy habits you enjoy. Maybe kale smoothies aren't your thing. Try a brisk walk in the morning or make a fruit salad with yogurt for a refreshing breakfast.

Start with small, achievable goals. Instead of immediately purchasing a gym membership, begin with a 20-minute walk or a 10-minute yoga session.

Record your daily calorie intake, as I started doing years ago, to achieve a number on your scale that makes you feel healthy and supports your health goals.

If you want to focus on building self-discipline in your career, identify the habits successful people in your field demonstrate. Do they constantly learn new skills? You could dedicate an hour a week to online courses or practices relevant to your career goals.

They may arrive early in the office to take on essential tasks before interruptions begin. Are they accountable and reliable by keeping their commitments to the team? Experiment with these practices and see what works best for you and your goals.

2. Start With Small Steps to Build Positive Self-Discipline Habits

Start where you are, and don’t work on everything simultaneously. Time passing is essential in building a new, more disciplined habit.

Instead of aiming for a spotless house overnight, focus on small wins. Begin with making your bed first thing in the morning. This small accomplishment sets the tone for the day and gives you a sense of progress.

If you want to become healthier and fitness is your goal, use a tracker to monitor your steps or set a calorie goal and log your dinner. You can practice self-discipline in your career by answering all your most urgent emails by 10 am.

Gradually, as your self-discipline grows, you can undertake more significant challenges at home and work. The key is to start and keep going on something meaningful every day..

3. Understand Your Parameters to Make Disciplined Decisions

Adults are self-directed and capable of making decisions and choices. Adults don't sit around and wait until someone (their manager) tells them what to do; they do it.

Ask your manager for help determining the parameters within which you are working. Work with them so you have goals and responsibilities, clear expectations, a whole job you can take responsibility for doing.

If you were hired as the HR manager, for example, make sure you understand the senior team's expectations. Then, you can practice self-discipline in your approach to your deliverables.You can move on to the next task at your discretion.

Look around and see what others are doing. Emulate the habits you see people whose self-discipline you admire display. Select one habit to develop in your career.

4. Make a List to Prioritize and Plan

Part of self-discipline is knowing what to do and then doing it. When you're not used to behaving in a disciplined manner, you will sometimes struggle to come up with your next activity.

You might spend the morning on an easy task that feels productive but doesn’t move you toward accomplishing your main goals.

Start your day with a list of tasks you need to accomplish. As you increase your self-discipline, you might consider expanding your plan to a week or a month to ensure you are accomplishing what is most important for your happiness and success.

Having a list can make you feel more in control—not less. You may think a list of 20 tasks will be overwhelming, but it’s much better than not knowing how many tasks you have to do. Plus, checking them off on completion can bring you satisfaction.

If you have a longer-term goal, you can also use a list to enumerate the steps you believe will achieve it. These steps may change as you progress, and they will likely fill slots on your daily list.

5. Make Choices in Advance to Minimize Distractions

Make decisions in advance to set yourself up for success. For example, if you want to pay attention in meetings, leave your phone at your desk, not even in your pocket, where pings may distract you.

If you want to become more self-disciplined about food, ask the waiter to box up half your meal before they put it in front of you. Or, choose to eat just half of the sandwich (something that has worked for me.)

If your workplace is full of distractions, such as chatty coworkers, find a quiet place to work away from your desk. Or, ask to occasionally work from home with an emphasis in the ask on your employer's benefit.

Decide in advance how many emails you'll respond to before switching tasks—whether it's five, ten, or all of them. Just decide before the situation presents itself, and you'll find it easier to remain steadfast in the face of temptation.

Or, set aside a reasonable time on your calendar to respond to emails daily—don't use email like an instant messenger. A system of labels or folders will eliminate the bulk of the nice-to-reads.

For instance, I want to write every day, so after lunch, I write for as long as I am motivated. However, if I don't pause my writing to walk, I will mess up my step goal.

You'll stay on track and build the habits that matter by making choices before you're faced with temptations or distractions,

Special Note for Parents: If you want your children to grow up self-disciplined, you must set boundaries for their acceptable behavior and fiercely enforce them. As self-disciplined adults, they will thank you.

6. Make Use of Technology

Technology makes people flighty—you can spend enormous amounts of time on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram, not to mention playing games and texting friends.

However, technological tools can also help you build self-discipline. Use technology as a tool rather than letting it become a distraction. It's okay to "cheat" and have your phone ban you from playing Wordle after you've played for your daily 15 minutes.

If your goal is a fit lifestyle with a healthy weight, regular exercise, serious walking, and restful sleep each night, trackers exist to help you.

Fitbit, for example, helps me track all of this. While you need to record some of the data, Fitbit connects with other devices to automatically capture, as one example of its capabilities, your weight from a synchronized scale.

7. Recognize Your Limited Temptation Capabilities

If a self-disciplined life were easy, everyone would practice self-discipline. But it's not.

However, every temptation you avoid strengthens your discipline muscle to avoid the next temptation. So, for example, when you make decisions in advance, you reduce your temptations. This also holds true for decisions in your personal life.

If you want to stay sober and professional at the office holiday party, decide in advance that you will strictly limit your alcohol intake. If you want to eat healthily, go grocery shopping when you're full, and don't buy candy bags.

Removing temptations from your life can make a huge difference. If your cupboard always has your favorite snack, you must resist eating it all day, every day. Resisting the urge to buy it during your shopping trip means the temptation only lasts 30 minutes—then you're done with it.

If you know you will have difficulty talking with your manager about a particular topic without rolling your eyes and saying something inappropriate back, plan what you’ll say in advance.

Then, schedule the discussion for the beginning of the day when you have the most stamina against temptation.

8. Remember That Failure and Celebration Are Part of Succeeding

Many people want to become self-disciplined. Then, on day two, they make a mistake in their hoped-for routine and give up. You will not become perfectly disciplined overnight, so expect some failure to happen along the way.

But if you plan for failure and understand that you will fail, one mistake won't derail your whole plan and deter your success. You pick yourself up and start again the next day.

At the same time, when you experience success, you need to celebrate. You accomplished all of the five goals you set for yourself this week. Reward yourself and celebrate in a way that won't undermine your success.

Say that your goal is to gain new clients for your business. A bad reward would be to take three days off from prospecting. A good reward might entail lunch at a fancy restaurant with a friend.

Special Note: Don't worry about perfection in all areas at once or about failure. Both can derail your efforts to increase self-discipline.

Start small and build momentum. Choose one area to focus on improving this week. Make steady progress, and as you develop self-discipline in that area, you'll gain the confidence and motivation to tackle more significant challenges.

This consistent effort, even in small doses, will lead to lasting change. By mastering this area, you'll be well on your way to building long-term self-discipline and a more empowered you.

Bringing It Home

You may not be giving up wine, or cigarettes, or anything else in particular right now.

But you are leading your own life every day.

The way you choose your habits—whether through steady discipline or a clear, values‑aligned decision—shapes how you feel about yourself and how others experience you.

When you act from that place of alignment, you’re not just building discipline—you’re building trust in yourself. And that trust is what carries you into the next chapter of who you’re becoming.

You being here means the world to me. Thank you for reading ValuesCrafting.

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