Negativity: How to Stop It From Taking Over Your Life
Negativity drains energy and erodes trust. Here’s how to keep it from controlling your life
christiantagalog | Unsplash
Optimism, like negativity, spreads quickly. Choose what you pass on.
Negativity: How to Stop It From Taking Over Your Life
Negativity drains energy and erodes trust. Here’s how to keep it from controlling your life
Negativity is like a disease, a soul sucking, sad state of mind that affects everyone and anything in its vicinity.
When a colleague or family member is going through a divorce, for example, you will often see negativity at its worst.
Always, the injured spouse has nothing positive going on in their immediate environment. So, it overflows into everything they touch, including relationships and the workplace, unless they exercise great caution.
The problem? Nothing is as pervasive as negativity in its ability to transform an environment. And, it’s contagious.
Negativity spreads faster than almost anything else at work or at home.
One sigh, one sarcastic remark, one whispered complaint, and the energy in a whole room can shift.
Left unchecked, negativity doesn’t just darken the moment—it can quietly dismantle trust, lower morale, and poison relationships.
In this series, we’ve examined how catastrophizing distorts the future and how excuses allow us to dodge responsibility.
Negativity is the third piece of this puzzle. It poisons the present.
The Cost of Negativity
Negativity is more than a bad mood. It:
Drains energy: Everyone feels weighed down by negativity.
Distracts from solutions and problem-solving: Time is spent complaining instead of making progress.
Erodes trust: People stop believing words or promises.
Permeates the environment: what starts with one voice can take over a team, a workplace, or a family.
In a workplace, negativity is like rust. At first, it seems minor and cosmetic. But left alone, it corrodes what should be solid and dependable.
Why Negativity Takes Hold
When I write about negativity over the years, “the big five” causes remain consistent and are still relevant today. People are negative in the workplace about:
Excessive workload: Too much to do, too few hands to do it. The feeling that they are contributing more than their colleagues.
Distrust in leadership: Doubts about the company’s direction, decisions, or future. Lack of faith in leadership fosters deeply entrenched negativity.
Anxiety about the future: People are concerned about their personal interests. They fear layoffs, shrinking retirement funds, insecure futures, and instability, which can result in anxiety.
Lack of challenge: People want more opportunities unique to their needs. What this means to each person is different. Some want promotions or management positions. Others want to be left alone as an individual contributor. Boredom with the current status quo can magnify every frustration.
Insufficient recognition: Don’t ever underestimate the power of recognition to create a work environment or home in which people experience success and happiness. Feeling unseen, unrewarded, or unfairly treated is a key component of negativity.
Intensify any of these, and negativity multiplies. Remove or reduce them, and positivity has a chance to grow.
Negativity’s Toll on You
It’s easy to point outward—to negative coworkers, demanding bosses, or gloomy friends. However, the truth is that negativity hurts you the most. This is the effect negativity has on you.
Eroded Confidence: Avoiding ownership chips away at your self-respect.
Missed Opportunities: Negativity causes others to hesitate in recommending or relying on you.
Blame Culture: Negativity multiplies until no one feels accountable.
Weakened Resilience: You stop testing your strength because you avoid the challenge.
Chronic Stress: Complaints don’t solve problems; they just keep them alive in your head.
How to Spot Negativity Early
Negativity doesn’t usually announce itself with a bang. It seeps in slowly and insidiously. Watch for signs of negativity such as:
Gossip in the break areas.
Chronic complaining from team members without suggestions for improvement.
People use sarcastic tones of voice that cut people off or break down enthusiasm.
Withdrawal of emotions or contributions; silence in meetings that hides discontent.
Listening to yourself spiral into complaining about and bemoaning the downside of most events.
As a manager, parent, or team member, learning to recognize these early signals gives you the chance to redirect before the wildfire of negativity spreads.
What to Do to Conquer Negativity
Negativity is a key component in whether you have a happy, contributing, successful life.
If you find negativity seeping into your world, take charge of it, whether at home or at work.
Few of us are in a position to target and repair negativity in our workplaces, or even our work teams. But, we are 100% in charge of our own outlook and view of our world environment.
Suppose you are a negative person, and you feel progressively pessimistic and unhappy about your situation. In that case, you need to take these steps to free yourself of bitterness and despair.
When you take these steps, you may find your actions affect the outlook of other negative people in your life or on your team.
Negativity doesn’t just affect others. It undermines your own life, goals, and peace of mind. The good news? You can turn it around. Here’s how.
1. Take Ownership of Your Outlook
You can’t control every workload or decision, but you can control how you respond to the decisions others make.
Owning your attitude is the first step in keeping negativity from taking root.
2. Create Space to Be Heard
Much of negativity stems from people feeling their concerns or feelings are ignored. Sometimes, people don’t need agreement; they just need acknowledgment of what they are feeling or thinking.
Listening fully can reduce the urge to vent endlessly.
Seek this space out for yourself or give it as a gift to others.
3. Redirect Energy Toward Solutions
When conversations focus on complaints and negativity, ask, “What would make this situation better?”
Even small problem-solving discussions with yourself or others can shift the energy.
4. Build Resilience
From catastrophizing, we learned how fear magnifies.
Resilience, the ability to pause, breathe, and reframe, helps prevent negativity from spiraling out of control. You can increase your resilience to cure negativity.
5. Practice Recognition and Gratitude
Gratitude is one of the fastest antidotes to negativity. Recognizing a colleague, friend, or family member’s effort and contribution, even in small things, redirects focus to what’s working. Thanking them is recognition that they and you need.
Responsibility as the Antidote to Negativity
Negativity thrives in the absence of responsibility. When you say, “This is my part, and here’s what I’ll do differently,” you stop negativity and blame in their tracks.
Think of the difference between:
“Traffic made me late again.”
“I didn’t leave enough time. I’ll set out earlier tomorrow.”
“Everything in my life is always going wrong, and I feel like I’m being targeted by circumstances beyond my control, so I am always late to work.”
One excuses. The other owns. The third is a life view that will shatter your sense of optimism and control permanently. The first breeds doubt. The second builds trust. The third leaves you endlessly in despair.
Responsibility for negative actions or a negative environment models integrity. Integrity fosters credibility in all aspects of life, including work, home, and relationships.
Choosing Freedom from Negativity
Taking responsibility may sound heavy, but it’s actually the opposite. It’s freedom.
Freedom from catastrophizing, making excuses, and wallowing in negativity will infuse your life with joy.
When you stop blaming and excusing, you stop waiting for others to change. You realize your choices shape your life.
Want to grow at work? Ask for feedback, take initiative, and step into leadership.
Want healthier relationships? Communicate honestly, admit mistakes, and forgive.
Want peace of mind? Stop replaying grievances and start asking, “What can I do now?”
Feeling negative? Ask what I am doing to create that state of mind.
Responsibility shifts you from reacting to life to creating life.
Closing
Negativity can creep in anywhere—workplaces, families, friendships. But it doesn’t have to define your life.
When you take responsibility for your outlook and your actions, you reclaim your credibility and your power. You quiet the voice of blame and unhappiness and open the door to solutions.
Negativity feeds on catastrophizing and excuses. But when you stop predicting the worst, dodging responsibility, and instead take ownership of your outlook, you cut off negativity at the root. You give your optimism room to grow.
Negativity is contagious, but so is optimism. Each choice you make—what you dwell on, how you respond, whether you blame or own—shapes the atmosphere around you.
Choose responsibility. Choose hope. Create the life you want.
Your presence here means more than I can say. Thank you for being part of ValuesCrafting. Every time you read, reflect, and put these ideas into practice, you’re helping create a world where values guide actions—and that’s something worth sharing.
It's not worth the energy it requires to sustain it. I like your point that by spotting it early, its roots wither and fade.