How To Create Calm On The Days That Overwhelm You
Practical Ways to Steady Yourself in Unsteady Times
Even on difficult days, the water keeps breathing in and out. We can, too.
How to Create Calm on the Days That Overwhelm You
Practical ways to steady yourself in unsteady times
Dear Friends,
This past week reminded me how quickly life can pile up.
A winter storm.
A round trip to Chicago for Thanksgiving.
A cardiology appointment.
A broken Nespresso machine.
A puppy with a painful blockage.
Sleepless nights because the puppy kept needing to go out.
And the everyday frustrations that stack up until you realize you’re running on fumes.
I spent hours trying to fix my coffee machine—only to have tech support walk me through the exact same steps all over again.
And long past my bedtime, the tech finally said the machine needed to be replaced, a conclusion I had reached five hours earlier.
My week wasn’t defined by one dramatic event. It was the slow accumulation of “just one more thing,” the kind of week where even the strongest of us begin to unravel.
Stress. Upset. Anxiety. Overwhelm.
Even the steadiest people feel them.
And underneath all the noise—under the storm, the travel, the appointments that matter, the machines that break, and the puppy who depends entirely on you—there’s one thing we all long for:
A sense of calm we can return to, no matter what is happening around us.
Calm isn’t the absence of stress.
It’s learning to stay steady when life isn’t.
It’s remembering who you are when the world feels difficult.
Something surprised me this week.
In the chaos since my husband’s death, so many things we once handled together now belong entirely to me. And yet, I didn’t unravel.
I wasn’t polished or serene, but I stayed steady. I handled the next right thing. I remembered to breathe. I stayed kind to myself. And I found my way back to my center again and again—even if that center was a little wobbly.
Here are a few ways I cultivate calm from the inside out. They helped me this week, and they might help you, too.
1. Begin With One Deep Conscious Breath
Calm rarely arrives in a sweeping moment.
Stop.
Take a single breath.
Pay attention to your breath instead of the storm in your mind.
Even one slow inhale and long exhale says to your body:
You are safe.
You are here.
You can slow down.
This smallest doorway back to yourself often initiates a sense of calm more than you’d expect.
2. Stop the Mental Pile-Up
We lose calm not from one thing, but from ten small things stacked on top of each other:
• the doctor’s appointment
• the storm
• the errands
• the tech who insists you repeat the same steps
• the dog who looks at you with pleading eyes
• the emotions underneath it all
Calm begins when you pause the pile-up.
Ask yourself:
“What is the one thing I can do next?”
Not everything.
Just the next thing.
Your system settles when you stop holding the entire day at once.
3. Do the Simplest Helpful Action
Your nervous system doesn’t need heroics.
Choose one small action that gives you forward motion:
• a warm drink
• five minutes of quiet
• a familiar routine
• turning the lights down
• a short walk
• sitting with your pet until your heartbeat slows
Calm grows from small, gentle steps—not big solutions.
4. Name What’s Hard (It Loses Power)
This week, I quietly acknowledged:
“This is a lot.”
“I’m overwhelmed.”
“Anyone would feel this way.”
I actually cried, and Percy, my puppy, curled up asleep on my feet.
Naming reality takes away its power.
Honesty softens the noise.
Calm slips in through the cracks.
5. Borrow Calm From Somewhere Else
Some days, calm isn’t something we generate. But we can borrow it:
from a person
from a prayer
from music
from a quiet room
from a moment of nature’s beauty
from a steady breath
from the warmth of a pet tucked against you
I watched the sparkle of the falling snow under my deck light in the crisp, still air.
Calm is as contagious as anxiety.
Choose what—and who—you let near you.
6. Remove the To Do Lists From Your Mind
When everything feels urgent, write down the next step for each task you’re facing.
Seeing it on paper gives your mind space again.
You won’t forget.
You won’t lose track.
And you won’t let the list consume your whole day.
This simple act opens the door for calm to re-enter.
Why Calm Matters
Calm isn’t passive.
It isn’t resignation.
It isn’t pretending everything is fine.
Calm is:
clarity
dignity
steadiness
the ability to choose rather than react
the place where your values can breathe
People rarely remember what you handled perfectly.
They remember how they felt around you.
Calm is a gift you offer others when life is frantic—
and a lifeline you offer yourself when you’re overwhelmed.
Try This Today
When your day leans in too hard, ask:
“What would calmness do here?”
Then do the smallest version of that.
You’ll be surprised how quickly your inner landscape shifts.
Warmly,
Susan
ValuesCrafting: Living What Matters, One Choice at a Time
Until next week—keep doing what matters most.
Just a reminder that I share short reflections on values, life, and Percy several times a week in Substack Notes—along with posts from other writers whose work I admire. It’s a more spontaneous space, and I’d love to see you there. Check out Notes for all the latest.
Your presence here means more than I can say. Thank you for being part of ValuesCrafting. Every time you read, reflect, and act on these ideas, you’re helping create a world where values guide actions—and that’s something worth sharing.