This was a good read — the line between being nice and being kind resonates with me more than setting boundaries — it’s the same thing, really, but I always picture boundaries as uncrossable, and not in the case of the mother-in-law mentioned probably, but in others, the other person involved doesn’t realize how their actions and words are affecting you and possibly others, and respond when given the opportunity to do so.
I like this distinction, Ann. Sometimes kindness means giving someone the chance to understand how their words or actions affect us before we decide what boundary we need. And you're right: “boundary” can sound more permanent than it necessarily is. It may simply be a way of saying, “This is what I need in order to stay in this relationship and still be true to myself.” Thank you for making me think about this more deeply.
This was a good read — the line between being nice and being kind resonates with me more than setting boundaries — it’s the same thing, really, but I always picture boundaries as uncrossable, and not in the case of the mother-in-law mentioned probably, but in others, the other person involved doesn’t realize how their actions and words are affecting you and possibly others, and respond when given the opportunity to do so.
I like this distinction, Ann. Sometimes kindness means giving someone the chance to understand how their words or actions affect us before we decide what boundary we need. And you're right: “boundary” can sound more permanent than it necessarily is. It may simply be a way of saying, “This is what I need in order to stay in this relationship and still be true to myself.” Thank you for making me think about this more deeply.